Tag: chemotherapy
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Life Lately: Closing Out 2025
There were a lot of things that occurred in 2025 that were NOT on my bingo card. Looking back however, the year is full to the brim with so much joy, connection, life, and love.
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Life Lately: June 6, 2025
When asked how I am doing, are you ok with the answer of “living” and that being not only an acceptable answer, but a damn good one?
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My Complicated, Needy, Irrational, and Humbling Relationship
The doctor/patient relationship will never be equal. I need him, but I don’t want to need him. I am so lucky to have found him, but I wish I never met him. What a phenomenally unfair burden to place on another person.
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Understanding My Lost Anticipated History
I said, “I was healthy until the moment a doctor told me I wasn’t. And nothing prepares you for that.” He replied, “Carolyn, we are all one test away.” It’s cruel really, how your world changes in an instant but the effects are infinite.
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An Interview with my Former Neurologist
Listen to a one-on-one interview with my former neurologist and read about what I’ve learned in my dual role as a patient and employee of Cleveland Clinic. I reflect on my physical decline due to MS, the importance of advocating for oneself as a patient, and my heartfelt gratitude for the medical team I’ve partnered…
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Armor
I’m working really hard right now to think of my body as functional, beautiful, and perfect in its imperfections. I gave my body to science and I’m trying very hard to get it back.
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The Not-So-Terrible Twos
Two years have passed since my stem cells were put back in my body to rebuild bone marrow and my immune system, it seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday all at once.
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That sounds like a female problem
I’ve learned through my four decades on this earth that the general consensus from medical professionals is that they just don’t know when it comes to women’s bodies, women’s health, women’s cycles, and women’s hormones. We’re too individual, complex, unique, tricky, hard, difficult, challenging, erratic, and unpredictable.
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From OR to AND: A New Place in Healing
I think the medical advice of “year-long recovery” for HSCT is a misnomer. But there is progress and there are things happening that matter to me. I am recovering more quickly, I am lasting longer, my endurance has improved.
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Reflections on an Unexpected Year
I am letting go of anger. I release the illusion of control. I revel in possibility and the unknown, and I am learning to hold both joy and sadness, acceptance and striving for more, contentment and wanderlust — simultaneously. I am loved. I am safe. I am enough.
My Chronic Library 